my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
