Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
