after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
