but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize