it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
