Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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