i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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