What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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