You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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