Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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