I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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