This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
