Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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