The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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