I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
