I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
