We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
