You're my little dorito
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
