dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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