well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
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Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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