yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
