eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
