just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
