I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
