Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
