we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
