You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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