I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
