In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize