So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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