Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
