I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
