I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
