After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
