My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
