Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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