i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
