I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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