Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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