I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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