I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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