You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you didnt know i had herpes?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize