He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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