I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize