No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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