i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
