I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
