brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
