Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
