Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Such a big mess for such a small penis
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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