As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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