i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
