She announced her abortion via fbk
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic