That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night