How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
