Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
