And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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