Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
