what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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