its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
They have beer where we have blood.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
