Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
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when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
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She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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